The last few weeks were one of the most crazy episodes of my life. I have experienced life from so many different perspectives that I lost count. What I learned however, is this: Stop planning, stop being too serious. and stop being too damn grown up. Sure, there are many occasions where you have to be serious and it never hurts to think about the future, but please don't overdo it.
I have made plans all my life. I am usually acting very cautiously and always play it safe. This lead to a situation where chaos and disorder was pretty much removed from my life. It also lead to a lot of boredom and every-day-life that just went on and on as it did. It was sometimes so dull and lifeless that at some point something in me decided that stuff must change.
I gambled with everything I had and loved. I hurt the feelings of many people and behaved extremely egoistic. I did a shitload of things that you just "don't do" and did not give a damn about the consequences.
It was not a well thought out decision, it was not planned and it was totally crazy. It also was the right thing to do and by far one of the best ideas in the last few years. It brought my life into chaos and got me to question things I never thought I would. It got me back into a reality where stuff happens without plans and without control of me. I have set things in motion that have no definite outcome, but the intermediate results are so much better than the initial situation that I am absolutely sure everything will turn out fine.
I let go of most of my long term plans. I don't want them any more, they are way too structured. Life is way too short for all these things. While it's not wrong to aspire to something and to have some goal in life, it's not really necessary either. Life should not be a long term project, it should be easy.
This isn't a game, turn the safety off
--VNV Nation, Tomorrow never comes